Ode to the ForumsI can't stand to see another thread,beating a horse that's already dead.Do you like "s3ks" and what does art mean?A poorhorse cult for illiterate teens.The forum descriptions must be Greek,or maybe the newbies only read 1337.The Welcome Center to get a tour.Thumbshare Forum for commentwhores.'Deviator' no longer exists(The Forum's still there 'cause jark insists)Don't post there- it's useless you knowRead the thread that tells you so.Elite ForumWhores: they're better than you.Accept it now you know it's true;Start sucking up to all of them fast-Watch the Blank Stares rolling on past.So if you don't get eaten alive...If somehow you manage to survive,Deviant forums can entertainwhile slowly driving you insane.
Working Without a NetI did what any of us would have done when learning that my Internet service had been shut down. I cried.Actually, that's not completely true. The first thing I did was frantically dial up the campus tech people, who told me the problem would be resolved in an hour. Anyone who has ever dealt with Electronic Device Repairpersons should already know that "an hour" in their language translates into "sometime between an hour and the rapture."So I waited an hour. Then I cried.How could I possibly function without instant access to news, entertainment, and all that other stuff that's just sort of there? What could I do in place of checking my e-mail every 20 minutes and playing Slingo? This was a major problem.But after a moment of despair, I dried my tears with the hanky of determination. I would not let this defeat me! I had lived happily before without the Internet and I could live the same way now! I only had to remember how.I first tried reading an ancient text recording from when p